This made me smile ....

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This made me smile ....

Post by Strumpet on 30/7/2013, 08:19

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/offbeat/18209052/fifty-shades-of-red-as-firies-help-with-handcuffs/

(cut and paste)

The brigade said its crews had also been called to a man whose penis was stuck in a toaster, and another with his penis trapped in a vacuum cleaner.

Oh the poor firies not only do they deal with fires, they have to help out in the bedroom????
S

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 30/7/2013, 09:44

Sounds like bitter wimens getting their revenge? Wink

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Alan Marsh on 30/7/2013, 11:32

A friend used to work as a nurse, when a middle aged man was admitted with his tackle stuck in a vacuum cleaner pipe.
He was put in a cubicle to await treatment... and word quickly spread amongst the staff.

When the doctor finally came to see to him, he asked if the gentleman had been looked after... to be told "Yes, several nurses have been in to ask how I was, and make sure I was comfortable and offer me a drink of tea."

It appeared that the entire shift had gone in on the same pretext in order to get a look!! Laughing 
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 30/7/2013, 11:44

He must have tripped and landed on it! lol!

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Strumpet on 30/7/2013, 12:48

I have a Dyson ........any takers ?

S
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by BossHogg on 30/7/2013, 12:59

I'll stick with my Vax - more powerful suction......err so I've been told. Wink
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Strumpet on 30/7/2013, 13:05

Boss Hogg wrote:I'll stick with my Vax - more powerful suction......err so I've been told. Wink

Is it??? lol! 

I'm still worried about the toaster ?


S
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Alan Marsh on 30/7/2013, 13:09

I would have cringed at the thought of a toaster on ANYBODY'S todger once, but the wife and I watched a Channel 4 documentary a few years back where one gent visited a torture dungeon type establishment, to have his privates treated with a cheese grater!

He PAID for the service too!
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Girl*Next*Door on 30/7/2013, 13:13

Alan, I also saw something on Channel 4 that was along the same lines. This gentleman went to see a Dominatrix on his birthday. She dressed him up in a leather hood and some kind of thong and then kindly inserted a candle wick down the eye of his penis, lit it, made him sing happy birthday to himself and then just when the wick was on the edge of burning him, made him blow it out.


I was gobsmacked and it takes a lot to stun me in to silence. It's probably quite wrong that I couldn't stop laughing Shocked Laughing.

I do understand people have different tastes in this life but what on God's green earth would make you want to have a cheese grater taken to you or a wick inserted down it?! affraid affraid

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by BossHogg on 30/7/2013, 13:15

A documentary you say? come on Al, you're amongst friends now, how long did it take your nads to heal? lol!
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 30/7/2013, 14:19

Yeah, come Al...spill! Very Happy

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Str8lolly on 30/7/2013, 14:46

Couple who lived in the flat below me, once called me and asked me to let the ambulance staff in using the spare key they gave me. Turned out while they were being erm, happy, the wife had a muscle spasm. As the husband had taken viagra, they were stuck together in a rather strange way? A bucket of water thrown over them by one of the ambulance crew worked wonders. One of the crew said to me, well it works for dogs! The couple moaned for weeks afterwards about how wet their bed had got.
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Alan Marsh on 30/7/2013, 15:19

Boss Hogg wrote:A documentary you say? come on Al, you're amongst friends now, how long did it take your nads to heal? lol!

I couldn't afford to pay for that sort of service even if I wanted to!No 

There were other gents who wanted to dress up as babies - complete with nappies and be bottle fed... and winded!! Laughing 
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by BossHogg on 30/7/2013, 15:42

Perfect for cabbagehead occifers! lol!
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 30/7/2013, 16:23

Do they get breast fed and spanked too? Very Happy

If so, I'm in. lol!

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Mr Random on 30/7/2013, 16:26

My dad was once called out to a couple having sexy in a car, matey had a huge heart attack and died pinning her under him

they cut the roof off and lifted a large dead man off a massively traumatized woman

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Girl*Next*Door on 30/7/2013, 17:07

Oh my days, that's horrifying. I'd be traumatised too if that happened to me Shocked Sad. Poor woman! Poor guy too but poor woman especially, he wouldn't have known anything about it or suffered the aftermath, unlike her Sad

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by MB on 30/7/2013, 20:56

My mum's mate was an NHS A&E nurse, her most common customers were squaddies with jam jars up their arses or tubes over their cocks - one they had to cut it off and the guy shat himself...
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Mr Random on 30/7/2013, 21:02

then there was the bloke who'd been shagging the wrong guys wife

Husband was a known local villain, walked into the pub with a couple of mate pinned the guy over the pool table and forced a cue into the guy's arse doing horrific internal damage, the bloke nearly bled to death in the ambulance

managed to get him to A&E saved him but had to have years of treatment AFAIK he still shits in a bag

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 30/7/2013, 21:05

MB wrote:My mum's mate was an NHS A&E nurse, her most common customers were squaddies with jam jars up their arses or tubes over their cocks - one they had to cut it off and the guy shat himself...

The missus has been a paramedic for about 15 years, and she says "objects" stuck up anal passages of males and females is very common! lol!

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Mr Random on 30/7/2013, 21:10

there was a book released in the states x-rays of all sorts stuck up asses

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 30/7/2013, 21:17

Apparently a big tube of lube and heavy duty rubber gloves are the tools of release! lol!

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by BossHogg on 30/7/2013, 21:20

sounds like a normal night in your house PMPT! lol!
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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 30/7/2013, 21:28

Of course, Mrs PMPT is very skilled with the lube and her hands! Wink Very Happy

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Girl*Next*Door on 31/7/2013, 10:51

Per Mare Per Terram wrote:
MB wrote:My mum's mate was an NHS A&E nurse, her most common customers were squaddies with jam jars up their arses or tubes over their cocks - one they had to cut it off and the guy shat himself...

The missus has been a paramedic for about 15 years, and she says "objects" stuck up anal passages of males and females is very common! lol!

I don't know how she manages to keep a straight face. I'd be stood there pointing and laughing Laughing

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 31/7/2013, 10:56

Girl*Next*Door wrote:
Per Mare Per Terram wrote:
MB wrote:My mum's mate was an NHS A&E nurse, her most common customers were squaddies with jam jars up their arses or tubes over their cocks - one they had to cut it off and the guy shat himself...

The missus has been a paramedic for about 15 years, and she says "objects" stuck up anal passages of males and females is very common! lol!

I don't know how she manages to keep a straight face. I'd be stood there pointing and laughing Laughing

I think she tends to "step outside for some air". lol!

I know she loves the jobs where the patient has tried to shit the object out! Laughing Wink

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Girl*Next*Door on 31/7/2013, 11:01

Oh, that is so wrong! Shocked Laughing.

I just don't understand why you would. I don't understand the mentality of walking in to a room, looking at a beer bottle or some other inanimate object and saying to yourself "Yep, you're going up my arse today" Shocked.

What planet are they on?! Laughing

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Girl*Next*Door on 31/7/2013, 11:02

Does this kind of thing go on their notes? I'd never visit a hospital or doctor again if I were them! Laughing

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 31/7/2013, 12:25

Girl*Next*Door wrote:I don't understand the mentality of walking in to a room, looking at a beer bottle or some other inanimate object and saying to yourself "Yep, you're going up my arse today" Shocked.

You haven't? Just me then! lol!

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Per Mare Per Terram on 31/7/2013, 12:28

Girl*Next*Door wrote:Does this kind of thing go on their notes? I'd never visit a hospital or doctor again if I were them! Laughing

Yes, it's all added to your medical/treatment history notes. Not sure exactly what it say, but probably something along the lines of "admitted with *insert object here* stuck up anus". Wink

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Re: This made me smile ....

Post by Alan Marsh on 31/7/2013, 13:11

Girl*Next*Door wrote:Does this kind of thing go on their notes? I'd never visit a hospital or doctor again if I were them! Laughing
Usually the sort of person that says or does something "off the wall" is the sort of person that doesn't care what others think!

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Re: This made me smile ....

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